CHINCO WAHALA

O boy! As Blackberry don chop mymoney tire, na im I come vex yesterday sell am, come take somemoney buy China phone! Now am in bigger trouble!!! . 1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging. . 2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc. . 3. Text message can be written with a toothpick. . 4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc. . 5. When an aeroplane passes by itrecords "One missed call". . 6. When a big truck hoots; it records "Charger connected". . 7. When a Chinese man passes by you it says: "One Bluetooth device found". . 8. When a fine gal passes by u, it says "Ur favourite food found". . 9. When an ugly gal passes, it says,"Virus detected". . Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buyooo? Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen: "No contact found, u are hooked with me" . I don hear wee for dis chinco hand oooo .

ENGLISH EXAMINATION

Akpors writing an exams 1. many are called..... Ans buh only few people have credit to call back. 2. convert i kill someone 2 future tense Ans you will go to jail 3. who was judas in the bible?why? Ans a farmer n a vegetarian because judas eats carrot 4. define racism? Ans is when u select ur white clothes to wash first before blacks. 5. Wat is discrimination. Ans: it is wen u hug gals wit big boobs nd shake hands of gals wit small boobs

LATEST ON FACEBOOK

Latest on fb - You wan use straw drink hot pap... #hospital go be ur new home . - You are above 30 and Davido is ur mentor... #u need serious deliverance. - You kneel down becoz u wan greet person for phone... #are u a learner?? - You carry screw driver go bank becoz u wan open account...#whyu no carry hammer join?? - You hate azonto but u luv alingo... #u must be an alien. - It took me an hour to compose a music 4 u, you con reply with "k"... #E be like say network no dey ur head. - You run go baff, wear ur finest dress, do make up, come spray perfume join am, on top say u wan skype... #God bless ur hustle. - You went to bed with a ruler just to know how long you slept... #Akpors na ur mentor??? - You no get shishi for account, u dey sing "Chop mai money" instead of "Mercies of the Lord"... #dats faith. - You wan do HIV TEST, u come dey find past questions... #U don dey madt abi? - China fone alarm no fit wake u up... #ur matter don go beyond physical.

ENGLISH MADE IN NIGERIA

MADE IN NIGERIA ENGLISH. *Abeg dress back. *If I hear pim, u go hear weeen. *Have they BROUGHT light? *The FILM is SWEET *Pls help me SLOW that fan *Mummy HAVE come *I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU *Have you paid your school fees money? *See as you BAFF up *Put the bread inside LYLON *I strong KAKARAKA *Oya come and be going *I KUKUMA don't have your time *Shebi you have BB charger *See how her eye is entering my food *Did you see the sound ofmy ringtone? *I know you have come since bcoz I hear your perfume

SOMETHING ABOUT ME

NAME: CLEMIZY DATE OF BIRTH: 21st SEPTEMBER GENDER: Male HOBBIES: - Collecting teeth from a live tiger, - Catching bullets with bare hands, - Assassination, - Jogging up & down Mount Everest & - Collecting rock particles from the moon MY RECORD: - Fought with an elephant and broke its neck. - Skinned a crocodile alive. - Played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded clip and survived. - Killed Superman. - Held my breath under water for 2 months, 3 weeks, 6 hours, 51 minutes, 45 seconds! - Assassinated Adolf Hitler, John F. Kennedy, Tupac, B.I.G (the list is too long). GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT: - Surfed on hot lava while the volcano was still erupting - Outran a cheetah. - Fluent in 10,598 languages. - Killed twitter bird.. - First man to land on the sun. - Carried the pyramid of Giza for 2 days straight! SILLY THING DONE: - Surfing on a tsunami and hurricane Katrina. - Snow boarding on Mount Everest. - Sky diving from outer space. EMBARRASSING MOMENT: - Couldn't kill 100 bears with a single. Only 99 died instantly d last one was taken to d hospital cus it sustained serious injury. SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I don't like to brag.