ONCE A VILLAGE GIRL ALWAYS A VILLAGE GIRL

A wife went on holiday leaving the husband behind. The husband got so horny one day that he decided to try the maid who had just come from Nsukka village and who seemed clever. ... He called the maid to his bedroom where he had taken off his pants, he pointed to his manhood when the maid arrived. Husband: Do you know what this is? Maid: (actin Shy) Yes Husband: Do you know what it s for? Maid:Yes Husband: show me. The maid immediately dropped to her knees held the item with both hands drew closer and opened her mouth. The husband was shivering with anticipation . The maid then began,"My name is Sandra , I'm 23 years old and I'm from Nsukka, Enugu . I would like to make a shout-out to my parents, my uncle chidi in owerri and aunt ngozi I would also like to tell my boyfriend Johnny that I miss him. Can u play me Ashawo by Flavour Nabania?" Then finally says to the man,"Oga, take your microphone I'm through...

AKPORS DICTIONARY

AKPORS DICTIONARY DEFINITION -Stupidity is when a man sleeps with c0untless Ladies with0ut c0nd0ms but still carries his 0wn clipper tothe barber’s sh0p . -RACISM is when a white BB Bold 6 cost more than a black BBBold 6. -NEMESIS is when you submit your answer sheet with your expo inside. -A WITCH is that girl that eats nkwobi, fish pepper soup, shawama, suya, chicken, smirnoff, fayrous & when you take her home she sayssorry I’m on my period. -OVERSABI is when you are eating salad with a girl & she says ‘honey, this food no done’. -OLODO is when you are in a plane with a guy & he says ‘honey I’m hot, can you please roll down the glass’ -STINGYNESS is when you finish reading this and you refuse to like & share

America vs Naija

An oyibo kid (white boy) came with his dad to warri as tourist, d oyibo kid decided to show off to akpors n his frnds,the following argument ensued between him n Akpors... OYIBO KID: i got Mc Donalds. AKPORS: we get Mr.Biggs. I got Mtv We get Stv I got mike Tyson We get Bash Ali. I got Elvis Presley. We get fela Anikulapo Kuti. I got T.pain We get Timaya. I got T.I. We get M.I. I got 2pac. We get 2face. I got Beyonce. We get Genevieve. I got Lil Wayne. We get Terry G. I got Jay Z. We get DonJAZZY. I got wizKHALIFA. We get Wizkid. I got Hollywood. We get Nollywood. I got Silicon Valley. We get computer village. I got Las Vegas. We get Lasgidi. I got miami beach. We get Lekki beach. I got Al Paccino. We get Pete Edochie. I got pirates of da caribbean. We get pirates of Aba. I got beauty n d beast. We get Bianca n Ojukwu. I got Mr.Bean. We get Mr.Ibu. I got American Lotto. We get Baba Ijebu. We fear Al Qaeda. We fear Boko Haram. We gat God. We get ma oga@da top....

Funny names abbreviation

Gift Chioma Emeka= G.C.E DAvid Victor Denis= DVD Hope Innocent Vincent =HIV Love Grateful Ada.=LGA Nathan Tim Aboh= NTA Amanda Ino daniel sera =AIDS Nwankwo Elochi peter Agnes=NEPA Veronica ifeoma peter =VIP Oguego Dennis Elvis =ODE Ogu Ben Tochukwu- OBT Rapuruchuku Iheanyi Paul- RIP Benjamin bony maduako ...BBM Benard isiguzo sopuruchi... BIS

ENGLISH CLASS

One boring monday morning, Mr. Tinko our English teacher enter Akpos class and addressed them. He started: lets show the principaland our quest how much we havelearnt so far this year. Lets do some comparisions……S ­o i say small, you say small, smaller, smallest.. [we all nodded, looking very tired] Mr. Tinko: big Akpos Class: big, bigger ,biggest Mr. Tinko: clean Akpos Class: clean, cleaner, cleanest.. Mr. Tinko: tall… Akpos Class: tall, taller, tallest Mr. Tinko: Mr. Tinko smiled and said: very good Akpos Class: very good, very gooder, very goodest Mr. Tinko: oh gosh. Akpos Class: oh gosh, oh gosher, oh goshest Mr. Tinko: stop it now Akpos Class: stop it now, stop it nower, stop it nowest… Mr. Tinko: oh please… Akpos Class: oh please, oh pleaser,oh pleasest… Mr. Tinko: look at me…!! Akpos Class: look at me, look at me-er, look at me-est Mr. Tinko: what a disgrace. Akpos Class: what a disgrace, what a disgracer,what a disgracest Mr. Tinko: [so furious]:i don die………… Akpos Class: i don die,.. i don dier,