COUNTRIES AND THEIR MEANING

H.O.L.L.A.N.D= Hope Our Love LastsAnd Never Dies. I.T.A.L.Y.= I Trust And Love You. L.I.B.Y.A.= Love Is Beautiful; You Also. F.R.A.N.C.E.= Friendships Remain And Never Can End. C.H.I.N.A.= Come Here... I Need Affection. B.U.R.M.A.= Between Us, Remember Me Always. N.E.P.A.L.= Never Ever Part As Lovers. I.N.D.I.A.= I Nearly Died In Adoration. K.E.N.Y.A= Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing. C.A.N.A.D.A.= Cute And Naughty Action that developed into attraction K.O.R.E.A.= Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every adversity. E.G.Y.P.T.= Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing! M.A.N.I.L.A.= May All Nights InspireLove Always. P.E.R.U.= Phorget (Forget) Everyone... Remember Us. T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D ­ .= Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull. ***ADD MORE

SAY AMEN TO THIS

Very soon, ur family will say 2 u:-"I'm proud of u"; Ur friends will say,:- "I'm Hapi 4 u", Ur equals will say:- "I wish I were u"; Ur enemies will say:- U have a mighty God. By d time ur glory will exploit, sudden death will not take u away. U wil excel from one region 2 anoda. Ur generation will b filled with wealth n riches in His mighty name

CHINCO WAHALA

O boy! As Blackberry don chop mymoney tire, na im I come vex yesterday sell am, come take somemoney buy China phone! Now am in bigger trouble!!! . 1. It gets full after 3 minutes of charging. . 2. The phone has TV, Touch screen, Nail cutter, firelighter etc. . 3. Text message can be written with a toothpick. . 4. There are some spelling mistakes e.g NokLa, blackderry, i-porn, samswag etc. . 5. When an aeroplane passes by itrecords "One missed call". . 6. When a big truck hoots; it records "Charger connected". . 7. When a Chinese man passes by you it says: "One Bluetooth device found". . 8. When a fine gal passes by u, it says "Ur favourite food found". . 9. When an ugly gal passes, it says,"Virus detected". . Abeg I wan sell am! Who wan buyooo? Even as I dey find buyer, e dey show me for screen: "No contact found, u are hooked with me" . I don hear wee for dis chinco hand oooo .

ENGLISH EXAMINATION

Akpors writing an exams 1. many are called..... Ans buh only few people have credit to call back. 2. convert i kill someone 2 future tense Ans you will go to jail 3. who was judas in the bible?why? Ans a farmer n a vegetarian because judas eats carrot 4. define racism? Ans is when u select ur white clothes to wash first before blacks. 5. Wat is discrimination. Ans: it is wen u hug gals wit big boobs nd shake hands of gals wit small boobs

LATEST ON FACEBOOK

Latest on fb - You wan use straw drink hot pap... #hospital go be ur new home . - You are above 30 and Davido is ur mentor... #u need serious deliverance. - You kneel down becoz u wan greet person for phone... #are u a learner?? - You carry screw driver go bank becoz u wan open account...#whyu no carry hammer join?? - You hate azonto but u luv alingo... #u must be an alien. - It took me an hour to compose a music 4 u, you con reply with "k"... #E be like say network no dey ur head. - You run go baff, wear ur finest dress, do make up, come spray perfume join am, on top say u wan skype... #God bless ur hustle. - You went to bed with a ruler just to know how long you slept... #Akpors na ur mentor??? - You no get shishi for account, u dey sing "Chop mai money" instead of "Mercies of the Lord"... #dats faith. - You wan do HIV TEST, u come dey find past questions... #U don dey madt abi? - China fone alarm no fit wake u up... #ur matter don go beyond physical.

ENGLISH MADE IN NIGERIA

MADE IN NIGERIA ENGLISH. *Abeg dress back. *If I hear pim, u go hear weeen. *Have they BROUGHT light? *The FILM is SWEET *Pls help me SLOW that fan *Mummy HAVE come *I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU *Have you paid your school fees money? *See as you BAFF up *Put the bread inside LYLON *I strong KAKARAKA *Oya come and be going *I KUKUMA don't have your time *Shebi you have BB charger *See how her eye is entering my food *Did you see the sound ofmy ringtone? *I know you have come since bcoz I hear your perfume

SOMETHING ABOUT ME

NAME: CLEMIZY DATE OF BIRTH: 21st SEPTEMBER GENDER: Male HOBBIES: - Collecting teeth from a live tiger, - Catching bullets with bare hands, - Assassination, - Jogging up & down Mount Everest & - Collecting rock particles from the moon MY RECORD: - Fought with an elephant and broke its neck. - Skinned a crocodile alive. - Played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded clip and survived. - Killed Superman. - Held my breath under water for 2 months, 3 weeks, 6 hours, 51 minutes, 45 seconds! - Assassinated Adolf Hitler, John F. Kennedy, Tupac, B.I.G (the list is too long). GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT: - Surfed on hot lava while the volcano was still erupting - Outran a cheetah. - Fluent in 10,598 languages. - Killed twitter bird.. - First man to land on the sun. - Carried the pyramid of Giza for 2 days straight! SILLY THING DONE: - Surfing on a tsunami and hurricane Katrina. - Snow boarding on Mount Everest. - Sky diving from outer space. EMBARRASSING MOMENT: - Couldn't kill 100 bears with a single. Only 99 died instantly d last one was taken to d hospital cus it sustained serious injury. SOMETHING ABOUT ME: I don't like to brag.

ONCE A VILLAGE GIRL ALWAYS A VILLAGE GIRL

A wife went on holiday leaving the husband behind. The husband got so horny one day that he decided to try the maid who had just come from Nsukka village and who seemed clever. ... He called the maid to his bedroom where he had taken off his pants, he pointed to his manhood when the maid arrived. Husband: Do you know what this is? Maid: (actin Shy) Yes Husband: Do you know what it s for? Maid:Yes Husband: show me. The maid immediately dropped to her knees held the item with both hands drew closer and opened her mouth. The husband was shivering with anticipation . The maid then began,"My name is Sandra , I'm 23 years old and I'm from Nsukka, Enugu . I would like to make a shout-out to my parents, my uncle chidi in owerri and aunt ngozi I would also like to tell my boyfriend Johnny that I miss him. Can u play me Ashawo by Flavour Nabania?" Then finally says to the man,"Oga, take your microphone I'm through...

AKPORS DICTIONARY

AKPORS DICTIONARY DEFINITION -Stupidity is when a man sleeps with c0untless Ladies with0ut c0nd0ms but still carries his 0wn clipper tothe barber’s sh0p . -RACISM is when a white BB Bold 6 cost more than a black BBBold 6. -NEMESIS is when you submit your answer sheet with your expo inside. -A WITCH is that girl that eats nkwobi, fish pepper soup, shawama, suya, chicken, smirnoff, fayrous & when you take her home she sayssorry I’m on my period. -OVERSABI is when you are eating salad with a girl & she says ‘honey, this food no done’. -OLODO is when you are in a plane with a guy & he says ‘honey I’m hot, can you please roll down the glass’ -STINGYNESS is when you finish reading this and you refuse to like & share

America vs Naija

An oyibo kid (white boy) came with his dad to warri as tourist, d oyibo kid decided to show off to akpors n his frnds,the following argument ensued between him n Akpors... OYIBO KID: i got Mc Donalds. AKPORS: we get Mr.Biggs. I got Mtv We get Stv I got mike Tyson We get Bash Ali. I got Elvis Presley. We get fela Anikulapo Kuti. I got T.pain We get Timaya. I got T.I. We get M.I. I got 2pac. We get 2face. I got Beyonce. We get Genevieve. I got Lil Wayne. We get Terry G. I got Jay Z. We get DonJAZZY. I got wizKHALIFA. We get Wizkid. I got Hollywood. We get Nollywood. I got Silicon Valley. We get computer village. I got Las Vegas. We get Lasgidi. I got miami beach. We get Lekki beach. I got Al Paccino. We get Pete Edochie. I got pirates of da caribbean. We get pirates of Aba. I got beauty n d beast. We get Bianca n Ojukwu. I got Mr.Bean. We get Mr.Ibu. I got American Lotto. We get Baba Ijebu. We fear Al Qaeda. We fear Boko Haram. We gat God. We get ma oga@da top....

Funny names abbreviation

Gift Chioma Emeka= G.C.E DAvid Victor Denis= DVD Hope Innocent Vincent =HIV Love Grateful Ada.=LGA Nathan Tim Aboh= NTA Amanda Ino daniel sera =AIDS Nwankwo Elochi peter Agnes=NEPA Veronica ifeoma peter =VIP Oguego Dennis Elvis =ODE Ogu Ben Tochukwu- OBT Rapuruchuku Iheanyi Paul- RIP Benjamin bony maduako ...BBM Benard isiguzo sopuruchi... BIS

ENGLISH CLASS

One boring monday morning, Mr. Tinko our English teacher enter Akpos class and addressed them. He started: lets show the principaland our quest how much we havelearnt so far this year. Lets do some comparisions……S ­o i say small, you say small, smaller, smallest.. [we all nodded, looking very tired] Mr. Tinko: big Akpos Class: big, bigger ,biggest Mr. Tinko: clean Akpos Class: clean, cleaner, cleanest.. Mr. Tinko: tall… Akpos Class: tall, taller, tallest Mr. Tinko: Mr. Tinko smiled and said: very good Akpos Class: very good, very gooder, very goodest Mr. Tinko: oh gosh. Akpos Class: oh gosh, oh gosher, oh goshest Mr. Tinko: stop it now Akpos Class: stop it now, stop it nower, stop it nowest… Mr. Tinko: oh please… Akpos Class: oh please, oh pleaser,oh pleasest… Mr. Tinko: look at me…!! Akpos Class: look at me, look at me-er, look at me-est Mr. Tinko: what a disgrace. Akpos Class: what a disgrace, what a disgracer,what a disgracest Mr. Tinko: [so furious]:i don die………… Akpos Class: i don die,.. i don dier,